9-19-11 Oh so lonely am I…


Monday, September 9-19-11

I don’t know how other to express the feelings I have right now other than to say I am flat-out lonely.  :(  Sad, down, depressed a little, alone, and lonely is all me right now.  I think I could even cry right now but I am not gonna.  What good would it do other than give me a big, fat headache?  I’d still be lonely after it was all said and done.  Ugh…  I don’t like this feeling.  What I’d give to change it.  Oh so lonely am I…

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About Stephanie

All I can do is ride it out, go with the current, and hope to keep my head above water til the lifeboat arrives...
This entry was posted in September 2011 and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to 9-19-11 Oh so lonely am I…

  1. You don’t have to be alone. I’m not going to preach to you. I felt alone too. I felt I had nothing. I went out one foot at a time since March and God made it work. I had some fallouts, mistakes, wrong thinking. The best thing is to realize is you are not alone. It isn’t a quick fix. We know that being bipolar, PTSD, O.C.D. etc. Getting your life back into focus again takes work and commitment. I can tell you this because I have done it and still am. I have ups and downs. I have made friends and not friends. It is sad and we wonder why does someone not like us. Who knows and now who cares. I don’t have to take someones abuse to make themselves big, when really they have no gift to give. I feel comfortable with me and all I am and will become. I decided to do some volunteer work. I am starting training Sept 27th at a Hospice. It’s a big step for bipolar but, what have I got to lose. I can stop volunteering. I will meet people, maybe cheer up some people, help. give love, give encouragement, read to someone, talk to someone. share with someone, whatever it leads me to. My dad is passing so I can’t delve deeply into a job yet but, I’m ready. I figured it can help me with his dying also. With my mom and my whole family here. Yes I still think and have what ifs about my family in Lebanon. I got disowned and that’s it. I can’t fix it, God has to, if he says so… We have to do something we love to get out of the funk. You have to search and find that. Don’t let yourself have an excuse not to move. You should check out Josh Wilson’s, ” I refuse not to move”. We have too or keep on the lonely road. I am through with my psychiatrist, therapist, and case worker. I realized I had nothing to say anymore that wasn’t completely normal. Move it, you won’t lose it. Seek and find what makes you move and live…Do you have a choice, You have your daughters, you are not alone always. Love them cherish them. Do things with and for them and yourself.
    Your wordpress buddy, Cheryl

  2. mydualities says:

    Stephanie,
    Wow, Cheryl said a lot and I agree with her. Find that something that speaks to your soul that makes you feel like…”yeah, that’s me.” That’s what I’m in the process of doing…. My problem is is that I don’t know where to start. :( We should try to brainstorm together! Then we won’t feel quite so lonely. LOL!
    LYLAS!
    Duals

  3. waldo says:

    Text your friends, me! :-)

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